I would like to report a murder

The guesthouse where I'm staying has a martial-arts studio in which people swinging bamboo swords scream like they are being disembowled by a wild animal. It goes on for most of the morning while I'm watching Cleveland Guardians games. Sometimes my screams blend with theirs. 

To recap: There's a grift barn full of pot-banging zealots who revere a dead Naran lady and a band of blood-curdling kendo practitioners all within 30 feet of me. I say this without irony or sarcasm: This is the greatest trip of my life.